Feline Warrior

Well, it didn’t take long, did it? I refer to the inevitable results of my blogging habits, that at some point, someone in my circle of friends would be offended.

This is the delicate balance between friendship and politics, between human connections that are real and ideologies that, while real, cannot be embraced. It’s a wavery balance, generally without borders that are easily seen.

The story of my life (no, not the whole enchilada, but a thread of it - the corn tortillas in which the rest is wrapped, say) is one of holding back opinions, beliefs, ideals, and sometimes even activities in order to “keep the peace.” And what is that about? Can I not love friends whose beliefs do not completely jive with my own? Cannot friends love me, even if my beliefs do not completely jive with theirs?

There are some in-laws whose beliefs are vastly different from mine. And I have resisted responding to many emails sent by them because my responses would invariably include links to sites that disprove the propaganda that they send. Their propaganda is of the ultra-conservative, so-called Christian, Republican ilk.

For the record, however, when friends with whom I share basic ideals send propaganda, I also check that out and I do share the correct information with them. Would it please me to be able to say, “Yes! George Bush was allowed into Yale because of his name and money, and here’s proof that his grades had nothing to do with it!”? Of course I would. But when I get stuff like that, I check it out, and if it’s wrong, I let the sender of the email know - there’s no sense in spreading rumors and urban legends of any kind, in my opinion, no matter how much I wish they were true.

Back to the in-laws, though: It would upset my spouse if I responded with correct information to these people’s email propaganda. “Just let them live in their little fantasy world,” he’s said. And I have gone along with that because he’s my spouse, I love him, and I don’t want to ruffle feathers. However, if I say it nowhere else, I will say it here: Their “little fantasy world” effects my REAL world. Getting friends to vote for certain bills or individuals can directly effect the rights of people who are dear to me - hell, my rights, too.

Presumably, by telling these in-laws (politely, even) that I’d discovered that such-and-such is, in fact, untrue, I will start some chain of events that will be unpleasant. I am not sure what those events will be - perhaps only that there may be strife among family members. Maybe it’s just that they’ll think my husband has married a crazy radical woman. And so what if he did? That’s his business. God knows I do not send them links to articles about pharmacists not filling prescriptions because they personally don’t agree with the ’script.

Now, to a more general audience, what can I do? Do I stop and think, “Gee, my friend __ will hate this particular post because s/he supports thus-and-such”? Why do I have to do that?

Part of who I am -a huge part- is my belief in human rights, the Constitution of the United States, and my actions for many years in support of those. Can you love me because I’m funny, creative, thoughtful, and… whatever else it is that I am? I would like to think so. And can I love you because you possess the same qualities? I would like to think that, too, is possible.

Are differences in political alliances such that we lose affection for one-another because of a post in a blog? (Which is, admittedly, an extension of a thought process, an expressed belief system.) Do we allow differences in views to drive wedges between friendships? Or do we use something like a blog to have a converstation about those differences? Or even just say, “Geeze, this friend of mine has some crazy ideas!”?

I have a friend who cannot be friends with people whose political ideologies are different from hers. Therefore, she has no Republican friends. I mentioned once a woman we both know, who is a Republican, and said, “But what about the goodness in her?” and she said, “What goodness can there be in a Republican?” She was serious - she believes, with all her heart and soul, that there can be no goodness in someone who votes Republican.

I do not agree with that. People have different reasons for voting the way that they do. Many Republicans I speak with identify with their party for financial reasons, they say. (These tend to be people who have large sums of money.) Many of their beliefs are not aligned with those of the Christian Coalition - that is, they do not believe that abstinence-only education is best, or that Gay Americans should be denied the financial benefits that other Americans receive… any number of differing opinions exist.

And… I am not uncomfortable telling my Republican friends why I support the causes that I do! Nor do I feel strange asking them about the issues that they support. How am I to understand those friends -as well as their party- without exchanging information and ideas? In fact, how can we expect to understand each other at all if we don’t exchange information and ideas?

I am sorry to upset a friend with my posts. I will be very sad if this person chooses to alter our relationship because of my views. However, the fact remains that questioning policies and events does not make me evil. Stating my opinions of the same does not make me evil. Perhaps it sets me apart from what my friend believes is what is good and true - so maybe, in fact, I am evil in her eyes.

Here’s a quote that I rather like:

“To oppose the policies of a government does not mean you are against the country or the people that the government supposedly represents. Such opposition should be called what it really is: democracy, or democratic dissent, or having a critical perspective about what your leaders are doing. Either we have the right to democratic dissent and criticism of these policies or we all lie down and let the leader, the Fuhrer, do what is best, while we follow uncritically, and obey whatever he commands. That’s just what the Germans did with Hitler, and look where it got them.”
-Michael Parenti

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 9th, 2005 at 1:57 pm and is filed under The Everyday Tiara. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.