Feline Warrior

Here’s to you and yours… I wish you safe travels and these next few days to be just as you’d like them.

-FelineWarrior

… like you were sleepwalking through parts of your own life? That you have no control? Or maybe that you’d given your power away?

Agnes and I have been talking about such stuff; she maintains that knowing that she gave her husband her power (some years ago) does not necessarily make it easier to reclaim it.

One of those “I know this intellectually and yet cannot act on it in my own -real- life” situations.

This makes me wonder about relationships and why one person would want to take another’s power. Oh, c’mon, I’m not talking about role playing and that sort of thing. I am talking about real-life human relationships. (yes, okay, a nod to the role-playing crowd - didn’t mean to diss’ you - but I’m talking about relationships that are ongoing, in and out of the house, and do not require safewords.)

ANYWAY… am I the queen of digression or WHAT?! … I don’t understand either side of that coin, to be honest. That should not imply, however, that I can’t imagine it or that I might not even have my own personal experiences with such stuff. (Go as Agnes… she’s 10 feet tall…) (I know, HUH?!)

Here’s the real question: How do some people become controlling? How is it that they feel GOOD about intimidating someone else? Surely at some level such people know that they plow over the people who are their significant others, that they have an active role in minimizing the self esteem of their loved ones. Don’t they? Is it all subconscious? And it if IS subconscious, what would have to have happened in that (controlling) person’s life to bring about such befavior?

Finally, what would have had to have happened in the other person’s life to allow such a thing to happen - to give up their power?

Yes, I said it. I was hit by a deer tonight. I’ve swiped my own post from a popular social networking page bcos I’m too traumatized to come up with post material more than once tonight:

I was hit by a DEER as I left campus… damn bastid smashed the hell outta my car… beloved purple car… :(.

It was AWFUL. And I was literally minutes out of the parking lot. I hadn’t even made it to the speed limit of 35 mph on that (2-lane) road.

Deer came flying out like it was auditioning for Martha-freakin’-Graham… smashed the driver-side windshield (I shrieked), then thump-thumped off the front, then the SIDE, and my door. The deer stood there lookin’ …  at me like I was a fool… and walked away.

I had to exit via the passenger door bcos my door is smashed shut. Girl, that animal smashed the front fender in so hard the paint is standing up. I was all together, cool, calm… as soon as the insurance guy answered the phone, I was cryin’ like a baby. So it gets towed to a shop near campus in the morning, the car rental people will pick me up in the morning and take me to a car and I pretend I’m not all traumatized by this.

Off to have nightmares about kamikaze deer…

A response to a concerned friend:

I’m actually sitting here looking up economical, eco-friendly cars that will stop flying deer in a single bound. so far… nothin’. Thankfully a student I recently worked with was still on campus and lives near me, so he gave me a ride home. Otherwise, I’d be sleeping under my desk in Newark. (not really, but can you imagine??)

OY!

And a response to another concerned friend, who said, “guess that’s what insurance is for, right?”:

Yeah… insurance and <chk-chk> shotguns! JUST KIDDING. I think part of why I was so upset is that I have NEVER run over or hit an animal in my life. The insurance guy was surprised the deer was standing and said, “but I’ve heard a lot of times they stand up and run away, but it’s an adrenaline thing… so they collapse a few feet away and die there.” Oh, thanks… that’s just cheerin’ me right on up.

And the same friend commented that it sounds like I could have been seriously injured.

Geeze, K… you’re right - if he’d gone further into the windshield, I’d be trying to type this like Patrick Swayze pushing coins around in “Ghost.” (Hey, at least I maintain my sense of humor, even when a deer tries to kill me.)

The windshield didn’t break completely - it’s just in front of the driver’s seat, and low, to the hood. But there is glass on the dash.
But hey… Hello Kitty did not come off the dash, so that’s something. (What, I don’t know.. but it’s something…)

Here’s Hello Kitty in happier times: