Feline Warrior

Here’s yet another idiotic piece of trash that arrived in my inbox, courtesy of a friend who has confused humor with stupidity.

The text is interspersed with images of naked young women. It begins like this: To all Canadian and all women in other free countries are invited to particicipate, dont let me down

Men will supervise the action . The final answer is here

It goes on to say that it’s the Canadian version of Homeland Security, and is passed on in the name of patriotism. MmHmm. Here’s the rest of the text, sans the naked women:

We all know that it is a sin for an Islamic male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and that he must commit suicide if he does.

Canadian women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighbourhood terrorists.

Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti terrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not terrorists, and to demonstrate that they think it’s okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all women.

And since the Koran also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti terrorist sentiment.

The Canadian Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti terrorist activity.

God bless the Beaver and GOD BLESS CANADIAN WOMEN!

So this is saying that all Islamic men are terriorists, which is not true. Many of us who can recall the Oklahoma City bombing know that some terrorists are white, non-Islamic, American males.

I understand that this email is meant to be funny, but I stand by my belief that laughing at (or forwarding) such stuff implies agreement and/or approval. It’s doubtful that anyone truly believes that this is a true anti-terrorist tactic. The idea is preposterous, of course - using nude women to bring about the suicide of “neighborhood terrorists” - aah, haha, so very funny.

Here are the components:

Men are in charge of women, who will parade around the neighborhood naked - for one hour

By participating in such a way in this event, men will prove that looking at naked women is fine - even if those naked women are not their own wives (maybe even especially if those women are not their own wives)

(This says that married men should feel good about looking at other naked women, and apparently, their wives should feel okay about it too; one must presume that men who are otherwise companioned with women -and those women- ought to follow suit)

The men should have beer at their side during this eventNeighborhood terrorists will commit suicide at the sight of female nudity and beer

As if there wasn’t already enough offensive material in here for you, the author added that the men will be showing “support for all women” by participating in this event. I fail to see how this supports any women at all - the men who are married or otherwise involved with women will surely not be supporting the women in their lives by staring at other naked women, much less “all” women.

The most dangerous myth being presented here is, of course, that all Islamic men are terrorists. It’s dangerous because there are those who believe it, and so will be encouraged in this incorrect idea. There are those who are indifferent, but who think it’s funny to promote anti-Islamic propaganda. And finally, at the very least, by laughing at such bullshit (or forwarding it) one is condoning it. And there’s nothing to condone about this. Nothing.

  Pfft!

Here’s another of those forwards that I keep getting. In this one, the man is the one who ends up being pushed into a mold:

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror! Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her Birthday. “I’d like to be six again”, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday [sic], he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; [sic] the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, “Well Dear, what was it like being six again??” Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. “I meant my dress size, you fool!”

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT.

There are so many issues to discuss, which to begin with? Let’s start at the bottom, as that’s where it all really goes bad, IMHO. The moral of the story is really irritating. Men, even when listening will get it wrong. Why is that? Is it because they’re just too stOOpid to get it? Because they’re from Mars and women are from Venus? Is that it?

That last line, the one that suggests to whom one ought to forward this tidbit, is ridiculous. Let’s dissect it, shall we?

On the list of recipients are smart women. Why the women must be smart is beyond me. The story is pretty basic, and even a not particularly smart woman would know that a person referring to clothing size would usually say, I’d like to be a size six… or at least I’d like to be a six…not I’d like to be six… The latter does in fact lead one to believe that the speaker wishes to be the age of six again. (And frankly, it makes more sense as a statement in relation to an upcoming birthday.)

But then that last group who ought to receive this silliness: Men you think can handle it. - that’s about as irritating as it can get. What’s to handle, exactly? That only certain men -strong men? and if so, in what way?- will be able to handle this story? Or only men who can handle the moral of the story (that even when they’re listening, men are gonna get it wrong)? I think that men are used to being told this message. The book to which I referred (the planetary reference) made millions by making the assumption that men and women are so different that we simply do not understand one another.

I am not going to aver that males and females do not reach adulthood without having been taught a great many ways to be separate from one another. Most certainly we are brought up in western culture to believe a great many things about ourselves and each other that taint our communications. However, to assert that a man must be able to handle this story, or at least its moral, is just plain ridiculous.

Add to that slap the notion that presumably the email was forwarded to a woman - that is, that the reader is a female, and so she will be determining which men can handle this horrific truth. If a woman is the recipient of the mail, then she is smart, because the directions clearly state to send it to smart women. So a smart woman is to determine which of the men she knows will be able to handle it. And I ask again, handle what?

It’s just annoying, all of it. A smart woman is not going to buy into the myth that men, even when listening, just don’t get it. And if she’s really smart, she’ll know better than to forward it to anyone else, male or female.

pfft!

A friend forwarded the image below to me. The text that accompanied it read:

Check out the new mirror I’m selling - taking orders now!

—– My Reply—-

We already have this mirror - only it works in reverse and is often called “anorexia.”

::::::::::::::::::::::::

Am I being oversensitive? See, here’s the thing: I “get it,” I do. But I can’t help focusing on the fact that females send stuff like this to their female friends. Sure, everyone laughs, BUT, does anyone stop to wonder why we’re supposed to want this mirror? Yes, I know it doesn’t really exist, yet to me it is symbolic of the messages we (females) receive that, under the guise of humor, deliver pretty strong messages about how we ought to look.

And going from a pudgy, soft-cheeked woman to one with a more socially acceptable body isn’t easy. It takes a hell lot more than a magic mirror; no doubt, if such mirrors existed, many American women would have bodies like this. Why? Because we’re supposed to. It’s in the overt and covert messages we receive from the time we are tiny girls throughout our lives. But really, such a change would require not just a change in diet (perhaps), not just a change in exercise (perhaps), but also a change of mindset - a new set of goals. And for what? What is the goal? To look like a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model? To feel less old, to fit in, so that males of all ages will find us attractive?

And why do we care what all those nameless, faceless men think of us, anyway?

Maybe we don’t. Maybe I just see images such as this and wonder why we do it to ourselves. Yes, funny, the mirror shows YOU (not an audience, just you!) a completely different body than the one you have. Why would we want a mirror that lies to us? Hell, why would we want to lie to ourselves? What this tells me is that it is better to have a magic mirror that lies to me about my body than it is for me to love myself - flaws and all.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Hmph.

pfft!